Given that in a few days I’ll be officially 2 years single, it seemed appropriate to post this piece. I actually wrote this one after an even older flame burned out, and I was grappling with whether I’d pick my self back up or not, whether I’d still choose hope or stay in the clutches of despondency. Enjoy.
So serene are you, oh mighty beast,
Staring at me from beneath the waves,
Contemplating my every move, always watching,
Unsure whether you’re tranquil or simply alone.
A familiar place this is to you;
The sea has taken you before.
You scoff at an unwholesome hull;
A wily brig has ne’er kept you down.
Yet you seem beyond repair.
Is your glory in respite or remission?
You were once a valiant voyager.
Your sails were ever diligent,
Your rudders ceased for none,
Your crow’s nest left no stone unturned.
And yet here you rest, lifeless.
What raised you before is now insufficient.
Perhaps you’ve grown fond of this place.
Your halls foster Silence, your decks seldom are trodden.
You answer to no one, not even to your Captain.
Darkness sets upon your planks;
Death has found you in the deep.
Bodies, everywhere, bowing to you,
Knowing you’ve safely tucked away their luggage.
Crimson clothes your portholes;
Your gauges are steeped in Shame.
Guilt has replaced your crew;
Sadness wanders your quarters, aimlessly.
Your figurehead is stained with tears;
Your engines are warmed with Fear.
Should you sail again, you MIGHT not sink;
Your buoyancy is far from guaranteed.
Every great adventure is shadowed by danger.
Indeed, adventure birthed your state of ruin.
Is a brilliant expedition worth catastrophe?
Befriend your doubts, cozy up to your anxieties.
Use your failures as a compass,
Lest depression become your address
And this ashen home your grave.
I remember the first time I read this, it was to my parents and my dad made sure to ask me if I was “alright,” which given the subject matter, I can understand his inquiry. I never know how to respond to this question legitimately, for I don’t wish to evade an honest answer, yet I don’t always know which answer is truthful for me. I probably gave my best attempt at honesty with, “I’m struggling a little but I’m working some things out.” I believe things do get better, in the next life if not in this one for those who’ve decided to accept the invitation of Jesus Christ to follow him. But in the interim, sometimes we live in between the surf and the ocean floor. With the Lord at my side though, I’m looking to rise above the tide! Thanks for indulging me again, Lord bless!